Discernment Counseling

upset couple wonders if discernment counseling is right for them

“Do I stay or do I go?” This is a common question among one or both partners that have never been in a satisfying relationship with their significant other, or in a relationship that has faded over time. The decision to seek marital therapy or to seek a divorce attorney can be overwhelming and very confusing. Often, we are bombarded by everyone’s opinions and we lose site of what it is we really want or need… as an individual and as a couple. Individual therapy can help you gain clarity, however it is one sided and you both have a story to tell. Just as you will work through the marriage together if you decide to remain in the relationship, you also need to work through the divorce together if you make the decision to end it. Making the decision to remain in a relationship or leave a relationship does not only affect you. Concerns about children, finances, living arrangements, and other life changes that accompany this decision can overtake your every thought.

The Goal…
The goal of discernment counseling is to help you and your partner become clear on what is in your best interests regarding your relationship. No one wants to waste money on marital therapy if you both aren’t committed to the process, nor do you want to incur significant expenses on a divorce if your marriage can be salvaged.

The Process…
This is not considered marital therapy. When a couple decides that discernment counseling is what is appropriate for their relationship, the therapist will aid each person in clarifying and communicating their story, their needs, and their wants in a way that is respectful to the other partner. If the couple decides that working toward a divorce is best, the therapist will work with them to make this transition run more smoothly and encourage an cordial relationship. If the couple determines that they want to commit themselves to working on the marriage, the couple will have taken the first step in assuring that marital counseling will be beneficial and helpful, as they will be committed to the process.

Discernment counseling is for couples feeling confused, hopeless, overwhelmed, and unsure regarding the fate of their relationship and who want to make a decision to divorce amicably or work towards reunification with couple’s therapy.