Making bids for connection is important, however being able to identify and TURN TOWARDS those bids is equally as important.
In fact, Dr. Gottman’s research found turning toward significantly impacted a relationships success.
Turning toward is the act of responding positively to a bid. What this also means, is that if we are not attentive, we may end up turning away or turning against our partners bids.
Perhaps you didn’t respond when your husband squeezed your side - turning away
Or you told your wife “cant you see I’m busy” when she tried to ask your opinion on something – turning against.
Look for your partners bidding today. Turn toward them – smile back, say thank you, listen to what they have to say, engage, and respond lovingly.