Day 9 – Building the Positive Perspective

30-Day Couples Challenge

“What you think you become, what you feel you attract, what you imagine you create.”


Show Video Transcript

Having a positive perspective in your relationship is important to the ways in which you may view or interpret your partners words or behaviors.

As we identified yesterday, the magic ratio of positive to negative interactions between a couple is 5:1.

Each of us have what Dr. Gottman calls our “Emotional Bank Account.”

As a couple, you each make deposits and withdrawals. There needs to be more deposits than withdrawals. In other words, we need to give more than we take.

We shared why this was yesterday, as the “withdrawals” or “negatives” have a more significant impact on our sense of well-being and overall mood.

Your task for today is to think about your partners emotional bank account. How many deposits do you make vs how many withdrawals?

Furthermore, are you aware of all the deposits your partner is making?

We can be so focused on the large withdrawal that occurred – sometimes even years ago, that it keeps us from seeing the smaller frequent deposits that are made by our partner.

Are there any significant withdrawals your partner has made that impacts your ability to see their deposits? Have you ever shared with your partner what significant withdrawals have affected your trust or feelings about the relationship? Maybe it’s time you do.

Click to watch the video and use this link to download the PDF to access your task for the day.

For more guidance on how you can develop a positive perspective in your own relationship, call our office at 330-673-5812 to get scheduled with a member of our couples counseling team!