Yesterday, I had you both look at the ways you and your partner have engaged in sacrifice within your relationship.

Today, we will use these to understand how to better identify when and how to manage situations where sacrifice of one partner is inevitable.

You may absolutely hate going to the ballet and love going to the Browns game, where you hold season tickets. It’s your thing. You know it, she knows it, you haven’t missed a game in 5 years.

She found out her favorite ballet, Swan Lake, is being performed this Fall and it happens to be when the Browns play the Steelers.

Who will sacrifice? How do you figure this out?

He has never missed a game, but he also willingly goes to the ballet when she asks him to. The games are something he and his friends have shared in for years, and the Steelers Browns game is always the most important game of the season.

She does not hold season tickets to the ballet, but has always given up her Sundays with him, as he is gone for the day at the football game. This ballet is the last ballet she and her father went to before he passed away, as this was a tradition for them.

I’ll ask again, who should sacrifice? It is easy to sacrifice for your partner when you look at three very important things.

1. Significance of the Sacrifice – Is it a want or a need? Is there significance attached to the potential sacrifice? If your partner sacrifices for you, will they be giving up an emotional need or rejecting a personal belief? 2. Will either of you be emotionally harmed if you are the one to sacrifice? 3. Consider what you will gain versus what you will lose if you choose to sacrifice?

Explore these questions with the examples you journaled about yesterday. What did you find? Go and share with your partner.